"You are an atheist because you are angry at God or the church."
This is a common form of rationalization for Christians as to why a sheep has left the fold.
This is a rationalization because its not usually founded on any empirical evidence but is deduced from other already held beliefs.
- My religion is true.
- Someone left my religion.
- They cannot have left the religion for legitimate reasons. This would imply the religion might be flawed. See belief #1.
- They must have left for illegitimate reasons, ie. Emotional turmoil, faulty reasoning, ignorance of the facts, deception, self delusion, or supernatural interference (demons).
This line of reasoning is rarely conscious but flows from the person dogmatically holding belief #1. But just because the reasoning that lead to this conclusion is faulty that does not mean the conclusion itself is wrong. This what's known as the fallacy fallacy. Just because the reasoning one used is fallacious does not necessarily mean the conclusion is false... It's just means the conclusion is unjustified.
Recently I have had some people hint at or outright accuse me of leaving christianity because I was offended by a minister. So, I am interested in finding out if I actually had legitimate reasons for abandoning Christianity or not. Before I delve into my own situation let me briefly look at the implications of this kind of argument.
What if I did leave christianity for emotional reasons?
Human beings are social mammals and emotion is a powerful motivator for us. We have realized that our emotional responses do not always map to reality and they often cloud our judgment and betray our best interest. Emotion alone, unsupported by sound rational argument, is not a good justification for action. However, sound reason is not made less reasonable because it is accompanied by emotional motivators.
So when someone criticizes an action as being emotionally motivated they are implying that the person's reasoning was bad and that the person's better judgment was blinded by their emotions. Whether my apostasy was motivated by cold calculation or fiery passion, this still all boils down to how good my reasons are.
Now we get to the problem of epistemology, how can we know if our reasoning is valid? A person deluded by powerful emotions may believe that their reasoning is sound and yet be utterly wrong.
How do I know I'm not deluded?
"I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as possible."
- Matt Dillahunty
That is what is most important to me, I want my beliefs to reflect reality as accurately as possible. So finding out if my reasons for rejecting Christianity are based on a sound, logical examination of the evidence or if they are merely a delusion brought on by negative emotions is paramount. But how can I ever know I'm not delusional myself? Almost by definition, a crazy person doesn't know they are crazy.
First, I accept that I may be wrong. Of course, I believe I am correct and that I have reasoned properly but on practical and philosophical grounds I must always maintain that I could be wrong. Far from hedging my bets, I am merely accepting the fact that I don't know everything and I'm trying to keep an open mind. Someone may come along tomorrow with sound reason and evidence that a god does in fact exist. At that point I would cease to be an atheist. I try not to hold any of my beliefs dogmatically.
The difference between being wrong and being delusional is your willingness to reconsider and change your mind when confronted with sound argument or evidence. Can you be reasoned with? Can your mind be changed by the force of evidence and argument? If yes, that makes you reasonable in my book.
Now I want to work through my personal case.
Whenever I hear the "you must be hurt" or "you must have had some trouble" line as a dismissal of my hard thought out position I feel indignation rising in my chest. The thought "how dare you trivialize my decision!?!" Is never far behind. However, I have learned to view the bubbling up of such indignant feelings with suspicion. Instead I try to force myself to ask, "What if they are right? I would still feel indignant wouldn't I? Maybe I need to take their accusation seriously, I have been wrong before." If they are right I don't want to be a stubborn mule and persist in my error. I'm not perfect and I often fail at this but it is a behavior I strive for. As a human being my pride and ego often get in the way.
If you have read one of my first few posts on why I am no longer a christian you know that my deconversion from Christianity was triggered by an emotional event. At a single moment I realized that my values had changed. When the preacher made a statement that illustrated his values I immediately noticed they stood in stark contradiction with my own. Furthermore I noticed his values had once been my very own, saving souls from hell at any cost used to be a primary mission in my life and the beauty of salvation was sublime to me. Just ask my unbelieving family members who I pestered beyond belief.
Many people read that story and think that I rejected Christianity because the statement the preacher made offended me. That I had rejected Christian salvation because of the words of one of it's representatives. To these people there is not much I can say but I don't think that's why I became an atheist as I realize that this reasoning is fallacious and I have experienced other similar opportunities for me to lose faith in the past that did not break me.
As I recall, my mother attended a sermon by the faith healer Benny Hinn in a desperate attempt to receive healing for her Lupus. She had been on medication and Hinn told her to leave her pills on the altar. She tossed the remaining doses as a sign of faith and left feeling inspired and seemingly healed! She was even declared in remission, though she had taken most of the medication already. Later the Lupus returned and as a result our pastor removed her from the treasury position she had held at the church. He told her that it was her lack of faith that caused the disease to return and that she was unfit to hold a position of authority in the church anymore. This was the pastor who I trained under to become a minister, I looked up to this man and I still did for a while after this happened. Later I realised that he was not a good person or role model. Not once do I recall feeling resentment at God over this, and to this day neither does my mom. Needless to say I see it much differently now.
Conclusions
There is not much more I can say to refute this accusation. To some extent it seems unfalsifiable, If I argue that I was not rebelling against god out of some kind of angst, it simply makes me look more rebellious. I have however satisfied my own investigations and in the end I am convinced by the evidence and arguments that I made the right decision. I will however remain open to the possibility that I have reasoned fallaciously or that there is evidence out there I have not discovered. If anyone wishes to wright me off as irrational without discussing my reasons first, I see that as their loss. If anyone wants to discuss the arguments and evidence with me I hope to be the shining example of charity and open mindedness I strive to be.
Comments, corrections, concerns are always welcome. Thanks for reading!
-Adam
